Most of you who took the time to actually read the two scripts posted here, seem to prefer Indahnya Maut. I do too. But most of you also criticised the dialogue - saying its overboard and that it has too much profanity.
Indahnya Maut is or will be a new experience for me - writing something with no holds barred. The story is violent and it is hard hitting. I doubt it will be approved by our censor board clean and without cuts. It may even not be screened locally.
The characters are a bunch of low lifes who do not know believe in the value of humankind unless its in ringgit or dollars. It is a story of despair and of lights at the end of the tunnel that are not really reachable.
I will not post the whole screenplay here, but will be trying out a new software called DropBox.
Posting PDF files on the blog is too time consuming, and I believe using the DropBox will solve this problem.
I downloaded the software at getdropbox.com. It offers a simple solution.
I have my own dropbox which I can 'drop' my documents into. For those who want access to my documents, they have to ask me to give them a special passkey or word. They can pick up the documents and read it and even make comments or edit it and then put it back into the dropbox were I can read the revised versions or comments.
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Salam,
ReplyDeleteSaya ingin belajar dari Abang Anwardi.
Boleh komen lakonlayar saya seperti di bawah :
Contoh lakunlayar dalam tempoh seminit.
FADE IN:
EXT. BANDARAYA KUALA LUMPUR - MALAM
Bangunan berkembar Petronas bergemerlapan dengan lampu.
Di lebuhraya kereta bagaikan semut-semut.
Banyak kereta, motosikal menunggu di garisan lampu trafik.
PAK AHMAD, 75, duduk di hadapan warung sambil menikmati teh tarik.
Matanya melihat kiri-kanan, manusia ramai lalu lalang.Bunyi hon kereta sekali-sekala.
Tiba-tiba telefon bimbitnya berbunyi. Pak Ahmad menyambut.
PAK AHMAD
Yes my dear. I'm fine....yes.
Mata Pak Ahmad menoleh ke atas.
Bangunan pencakar langit kiri dan kanan.
PAK AHMAD (continued)
Kuala Lumpur. Yes. Very big city. Bigger thanLiverpool, I guess.
Pak Ahmad selesai perbualan dan memasukkan telefon bimbit ke dalam beg kecilnya.
Pak Ahmad merenung kembali rakyat Malaysia di sekeliling.
PAK AHMAD
(dalam hati)
Aku sayangkan bumi ini. Tapi, kau Fatimah telah mengecewakan aku.
FLASHBACK :
EXT. KAMPUNG MELAYU - SIANG
ON SCREEN : KAMPUNG BARU - 1954
Pak Ahmad, 20, sedang merayu FATIMAH, 19.
PAK AHMAD
Fatimah, tolonglah. Fahami perasaan ku.
Fatimah melihat ke arah lain dengan wajah marah.
FATIMAH
Hanya Amran yang boleh beri aku kemewahan.
Pak Ahmad nampak sedih.
EXT - PELABUHAN - SIANG
Pak Ahmad sedang membawa beg.
Kapal menuju ke Liverpool.
FLASHBACK HILANG.
Pak Ahmad beredar dari tempat warung.